So, you want to hear my backstory? Heh, don't know why, but I'll give it to you anyway. I like rambling.
One day, in an abandoned Imperium spaceship, I was born. Now, as you know, I'm in a tech-priest family, so therefore, my home was more or less kept running by my lone mother. My father, before you ask, was at a meeting with some Imperium official. Last I checked, it's still going! Haha!
Two weeks after I was born - and looking back at my photos, I looked a lot more... natural... than I do now, but that's a given, heh - my mother was killed in a plasma furnace - do they make them anymore? - fuckup. I was looking at the doorway she went through, attempting to grab onto a pipe on the ceiling in midair, when suddenly, there was the sound of flames, and plasma flying out of the room, melting whatever solids it touched. It managed to break an oxygen vent, causing an extremely dangerous amount of oxygen to flood the room. I instinctively - at least, I think - went for the escape pod before the whole ship caught on fire. Ten seconds after I left the ship, it was suddenly set ablaze - now those flames looked relatively weird - and soon exploded. The escape pod gained a little speed from the explosion, I believe.
I soon landed on an imperial world, where there was much technology serving no purpose anymore, and, as such, noone using any of it, or even noticing it anymore. So I did what any tech-priest would do, regardless of age - I tinkered! *smile* Nothing was really dangerous in any more than the 'give you a minor burn' way, and, being born in a no-gravity environment, I was about four earth-years taller than I should've been.
By the way, how many years have passed since I was hired, Malek? Three? Ah, okay.
Get to the damn point!? Goddammit, Curt! I'm covering backstory, there isn't a damn point! *makes sure inferno pistol isn't lodged in its holster* And what's with your overly generic name anyway? At least mine's self-referential!
Aannyyway, back to what I was doing. Because my body wasn't used to gravity yet, it was hard to move around, but that shouldn't stop any Tech-Priest from screwing around, right? *smirks* So I screwed around, figuring out how the old Imperium systems worked - I forgot, because who cares about that crap? - and realized that I'm currently in Imperial - imperiumal? imperial? I have no clue - grounds. Therefore, I decided to get out of this neat, but tiny space where I was. Plus I was hungry, and escape pod food is kinda crap when it comes to filling your stomach. After looking around for a while, I finally found the way out and - you know what? Screw that part, noone cares. No, Curt, we don't need you to repeat what I just said! *grips inferno pistol handle*
So, let's fast forward what I believe is 15 years, in which I honed my tech skills and occasionally my lasgun skills. I have a nice room somewhere in a hive city, which I never actually found out the name for sure - I think it was Coruscunt, naw just kidding, I have no clue anymore, though it did start with a B... Betelgeuse? I dunno, but anyway - I had a nice apartment, a charge pack... charger... for my glow lamp, and got a good amount of thrones rolling my way with side jobs I did here and there. Then I got this message, which basically said 'HEY, WE'RE THE IMPERIUM. WE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH TECHNOLOGY WE USE, SO IF YOU RUN REGULAR MAITENENCE ON OUR MACHINES, WE'LL GIVE YOU A LOT OF MONEY.' And then it said where to report to, along with the Imperium seal, just to show they aren't fakes who want to steal your thrones. So, naturally, I went to where it said I should go. There was some anonymous dude at the -most likely blast - door, and he let me in, making a remark about the implants that are attached to me. He took me to a room which looked decidedly old - wooden table and chairs, fluorescent lights, paper forms - and interviewed me. I told him what I was good at, what he shouldn't make me do if he wants the Emperor to stay alive, when I could come in, stuff like that. Eventually, I was acce-
Goddammit, Curt! If you don't want to listen, just go away already! I know that noone's forcing you to do this, so just leave! You know how I act when I get pissed off, and the Imperium doesn't care if you die or not! Hell, they'd probably prefer it, since that means one less person to pay! *tightens grip on inferno pistol*
So, anywa- okay, that's it. You're going down. *walks up to Curt* I warned you. *turns Curt's head into charcoal with inferno pistol* Okay, for all of you, this is your warning for what will happen if you piss me off! Got it!? Good!
Okay, so anyway, I was running maitenence on the machines that ran the Imperium and did other critical stuff like keep the Emperor not dead, occasionally get a job from a genetor once in a while for a bonus, practice my lasgun skills in my free time, since I'm practicing my tech skills in my job. Come to right now, I got my acolyte application form, go in despite the risk of death, and now I'm one of the main utility men who also manages to be a guy who can kick ass! Anyway, who are you again? I forget names pretty often, as you can tell from that story, I hope. Want a taco? I can also make some mean tacos. *smile*