Maybe these should go in the horrible ideas thread...
Force-A-Nature
Uses shotgun ammo
Higher damage at point blank than the double shotty with extra knockback, but with even steeper falloff, basically useless at range. Slow reload time.
"When you absolutely, positively need to hurl enemies far away from you and into a pool of lava."
Dalokohs bar
Consumable
Heals the player like a normal small med-pack if damaged, but adds 10 health like a small health globe when at full health.
"Did you ever want to pick up a small health globe and save it for later? Now you can do it, with delicious chocolate-like flavor!"
Gunboats
Boots
Protective boots + TB
2 protection, player receives 50% damage from own rockets (this stacks with rocket jumping).
"This nifty invention makes walking forever obsolete!"
Sharpened volcano fragment
Melee
Damage somewhere between the knife and the chainsaw (plasma maybe?), accuracy good, leaves a square of lava where it's swung.
"Really not something you should be swinging around."
Chargin' Targe
Melee
Damage and accuracy comparable to knife. Alt-fire: can only be used when not tired, launches you forward 10 squares or until you hit something, doing damage at the end of the path based on the distance travelled and tiring you out. Note that this does not protect you from environmental damage.
"No true Scotsman would ever use a shield for anything else."
Amputator
Melee
Combat knife + PB
Slightly higher damage than the knife, heals a trivial amount on each hit.
"You're pretty sure this weapon does not belong here."
Sniper rifle
Uses 10mm ammo
Single shot weapon, decent accuracy and damage. Alt-fire: always hits, huge damage, but physical (so armor gets in the way) and so slow you might miss a turn entirely.
"You don't know why, but you feel an urgent need to be polite and efficient."
Ambassador
Uses 10mm ammo
Pistol + ATP
High accuracy, decent damage, slow firing time but quick reload.
"It certainly makes hostile negotiations much easier."
Why yes, I did just recently get Team Fortress 2. The Engineer doesn't get an item because all his weapons are building-related and that sucks.