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Author Topic: Bad day all around....  (Read 16597 times)

thelaptop

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2012, 20:16 »

You aren't alone. That sentence pretty much describes the last 15 years for me. There have been moments that weren't so cloudy, but mainly suffering and anguish. I've been told that it will get better, so I guess there is that.
Commiseration moment?  =(

I find that running helps to lessen the impact of the depression and anxiety.  It doesn't remove it completely, but at least it gives me enough energy to just keep on moving.

One other thing that I find useful is to stop being too isolated and just go out there and talk to people.  IRC is cool, facebook is in vogue, but nothing beats meeting someone to have a nice cup of coffee and just talk.

(Disclaimer: Life is still not a bed of roses for me in spite of what I just said.)
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Tormuse

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2012, 00:20 »

I can definitely speak highly of the benefit of getting out there.  For me, it was bike-riding in a nearby park that I found very relaxing and took the edge off the depression, though, as you say, it doesn't remove it completely.

And yes, spending time with other people is a big help too.  (And I too favour meeting people in real life rather than chatting online)  For me, the big problem in the past year was that my relationship troubles, work troubles, and friend troubles hit me all at the same time.  If it had been just one of them or even two of them, then I would at least have had the third thing to distract me from my problems.  As it was, I was spending a lot of time sitting at home with nothing to distract me from how miserable I was...  (except DoomRL, of course)  ;)

Don't forget that while your brain is working, you have all the resources to make yourself happy...

While that may be technically true, that attitude can frequently fuel depression.

I read a good book on the subject of depression recently that says that often, people's attempts to reason themselves out of it makes it worse.  That sentiment of "I can be happy if I want to" leads to thoughts of, "then why am I not happy?  I should be happy!  What's wrong with me?"  This leads into a downward spiral that makes you feel worse and worse the more you dwell on what you're feeling.  The unfortunate truth is that emotions are frequently unreasonable and irrational and you can't reason your way out of them.

I think it's best to find something to distract you from what you're feeling.  Feeling sad sometimes is normal.  You just have to find something else to think about so you don't make it worse.
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Motorheadbanger

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2012, 02:04 »

Yes, those thoughts are bullshit.
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Klear

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2012, 02:13 »

Also, there is always beer =)

With friends of course, drinking on one's own never helped anybody.
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thelaptop

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2012, 19:43 »

I dunno.  Drinking on my own while listening to music I like (avoiding those sad sad ballads) have a strange way of calming me down.

Also some perspective on life I suppose, like realising that work will never be completed, just completed to a good enough level that it passes most scrutiny.
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Klear

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2012, 02:53 »

Hmm... when I'm depressed, I tend to listen to Depeche Mode and then all hope for an improvement of my mood goes to hell =)

When I tried listening to something cheerful while depressed, I realized that I will only program myself to be depressed whenever I listen to that no matter what mood I am, so I try to stick to music that sounds better what you are feeling sad. Besides, even sadness can be enjoyable sometimes.
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Klear

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2012, 03:29 »

Great. Now I'll have to listen to them all day and if I star feeling depressed, it's your fault!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Tormuse

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2012, 14:57 »

(Hmph...  all those links say they're "not available in my country")  :|

Anyway, this all just goes to show that different people have different coping mechanisms for depression.  Actually, the fact that you prefer sad music while you're depressed fits with the theory I mentioned above!  Because if you try listening to happy music, you start thinking, "This should be making me happier, but it's not!  What's wrong with me?  Will I never be happy again?"  Sad music, on the other hand, fits your mood better, so it doesn't make you feel worse.

I guess people's ability to deal with depression depends a lot on what coping mechanisms they have learned.  Some people spend their entire lives in incredible hardship but are still able to smile, while others live a life of luxury and kill themselves the first time things don't go their way.  You just have to find a coping mechanism that fits your lifestyle.  For example, Motorheadbanger's method, mentioned above, of changing his perspective on his situation obviously works well for him, but might not work for everyone.  If listening to sad music is your preferred method of "therapy," then power to you!
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Silhar

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2012, 02:19 »

Anyway, this all just goes to show that different people have different coping mechanisms for depression.  Actually, the fact that you prefer sad music while you're depressed fits with the theory I mentioned above!  Because if you try listening to happy music, you start thinking, "This should be making me happier, but it's not!  What's wrong with me?  Will I never be happy again?"  Sad music, on the other hand, fits your mood better, so it doesn't make you feel worse.

since we talk about depression here, you just made my girlfriend laugh.

just a wild, wild guess - what if depressed people don't listen to happy music because they just don't feel like doing so? ;)

Klear

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2012, 02:39 »

since we talk about depression here, you just made my girlfriend laugh.

just a wild, wild guess - what if depressed people don't listen to happy music because they just don't feel like doing so? ;)

Yeah, it's pretty much like this:

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Uranium

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2012, 03:19 »

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Silhar

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #27 on: April 18, 2012, 03:40 »

Yeah, it's pretty much like this:

Nope. Listening to cheerful songs while you're low leads only to irritation. It's not "I want to stay sad, so get out with this oh-so-happy stuff", that's just "somebody turn off this bullshit, life just isn't beautiful the way they say it is".

Klear

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #28 on: April 18, 2012, 03:46 »

Well, sometimes, but I get that "I want to stay sad" feeling quite often.
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Motorheadbanger

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Re: Bad day all around....
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2012, 06:45 »

If you want to talk about music, I'm gonna tell you that the thrash metal is the most life-asserting music of all the times. You can listen to it while you're happy or while you're sad, it doesn't matter. It does not have its own specific mood, it's just very, very confident.
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