How do you manage 5 minutes? How do you DO that and win?
Well... here's my strategy in detail:
Basically, start an ITYTD game on console mode. Pick scout class (so you have an idea of where to go). Pick Brute as your first two traits. Run to the exit as fast as you can using lots of hand-eye coordination, zig zagging and fast judgment.
On the way, pick up everything that looks like +, [ and ^. In the beginning you may wanna grab a knife. NEVER be afraid to charge at enemies. :P When your health's running out, just use a med.
Chained court is a must visit for the chainsaw and all the berserks. Avoid pretty much all other special levels that you cannot exit immediately. Personally I like to snatch a bulk or power mod for the chainsaw when I see one.
When you get to the bruisers, make sure to pick up the red armor and then just happily charge at em, they'll die in a matter of seconds. At right about this point you should reach level 3 and you'll wanna pick berserker.
TAKE OFF THE ARMOR and use a blue one instead.
When you get to cybie, just heal up, put on the red armor again, and charge (1 rocket or punch from him will zerk you and that means you can pretty much just hold a directional key on him). When you beat him you'll probably gain TWO levels. Pick brute and then hellrunner.
Keep going... try to avoid situations with dual archvile & co gangs (I recommend phasing out). If you find a homing phase device, use it when you reach a level where the exit is far away.
Now just charge at spidie... and there you go.
By the way, this is REALLY fun to do if you're synchronously competing with someone. :P